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What to Expect When Seeing a Marriage Counselor

What to Expect When Seeing a Marriage Counselor

If you’re going to a marriage counselor for the first time, it’s good to know what to expect.

If you’re going to a marriage counselor for the first time, it’s good to know what to expect. It is common for couples to be anxious about that first meeting. It can be helpful to know what sorts of questions might be asked during the appointment so that you are better prepared. Keep in mind that every counselor operates differently and the types of questions that they ask can vary.

Personal History and Childhood

It is common for a marriage counselor to ask about your childhood. You may think that it has nothing to do with your current marriage issues but it can. These questions can include:
  • What type of home you grew up in
  • The sorts of relationships you witnessed
  • What sort of view of marriage you developed as a child
We develop many of our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and other people as children, based on what we see happening around us. It is also important for a counselor to know about their clients’ personal history, especially in regards to any past mental health diagnoses and treatments. Religious preferences/ spiritual beliefs, past abuse, and substance abuse history are all important details a marriage counselor should know.

Past Relationships

Your marriage counselor may also want to know some details of the relationships you had prior to your current marriage. It is important to know where you are coming from relationship-wise. This includes any previous marriages, a string of bad relationships prior to marriage, or if you’d never even been on a date before meeting your current spouse. If a couple are high school sweethearts who have never dated anyone else, their experiences would be quite different than those of the couple who have both been previously married.

The History of Your Marriage

When and how you met, your experience dating, and when you decided to get married are all important things for your marriage counselor to know. When couples are having difficulty, hearing their individual versions of why there are problems can tell a counselor a lot about the situation. If a couple can’t recall what it was like before they were married or why they got married, it can say quite a bit about current problems.

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